I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
