K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
