just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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