I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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