i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
