Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
people are starting to question the shark bite story
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
