Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The beers last night were like the tears from god
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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