My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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