he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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