Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
