i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
