We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
