Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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