First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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