I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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