You work out of a Hotel?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
