thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
