so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
