You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
