you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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