whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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