direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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