He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
