Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
