She went from zero to smokin in five shots
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
