i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
