yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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