We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
