you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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