HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
