She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
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