Me too!
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
