is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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