if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
