i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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