when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
