I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I currently don't understand fingers.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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