I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
