you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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