Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
