Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
