I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Do you still have your period?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
