my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Two words: blizzard sex
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
