his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
