How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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