Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
