so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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