it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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