Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Boobs speak an international language.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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