omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
