He told me they were just razor bumps!
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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