i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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