I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
