My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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